Books and 'Tings That Have Helped & Challenged the Way I Do Relationships

1. The Fine Art of Friendship (Clayton King)

My sister sent this video to me randomly in 2011, not knowing I needed to hear this at the time. Haven't watched this video since then, but I remember it having a significant impact on my life during that time.

2. Beyond Boundaries: Learning to Trust Again in Relationships by Dr. John Townsend

This book is perfect for anyone needing clarity on whether they should stay in a relationship or walk away from it. It is also a book for anyone who thinks they're relationship ready or have met someone of interest but maybe aren't sure about whether or not to proceed. This book saved me. The hardest part about boundaries is setting them and upholding them. To tell someone you care deeply about, "hey, this is how I deserve to be treated and if you are not willing to treat me in this way, here is what will happen..." is hard, and often times we forgo setting necessary boundaries because we are afraid of the unknown. Or maybe we find the courage to set them but do not follow through with them. This book helped me find the courage to see the truth of a relationship that eventually ended. It gave me practical advice that I'm certain people told me, but I was too blind to see at the time. A must read.

3. Boundaries by Brene Brown via The Work of the People

Boundaries with Brene Brown from First Aid Arts on Vimeo.

We all know Brene Brown, and we all love her work. I'd go as far as to say that her research has had the most significant impact on my life. This video is no exception. It was a Godsend when I desperately needed healing during a very broken time in my mid-twenties. Two things that spoke to me was the reality that the most compassionate people are also the most boundaried.

Along with that, this video challenged me to ask myself this question for the first time, "Eunice, what if people are doing the best that they can?" Long before this, I found myself having constant moments where I was feeling resentful and hateful, or as Brene Brown put it, "I spent...years thinking that people were sucking on purpose just to piss me off." What she then said her husband responds with, was an enlightenment moment for me, and changed my life for the better. He said, "I will never know if people are doing the best that they can, but when I assume that they are, it makes my life better." This revelation came at a time where I was doing a lot of interpersonal work, and with the help of a counselor I was finally able to put a name to my pattern of behavior (codependency) and from that, so began the steps of becoming a healthier and more whole me. 

​You can watch more of her videos in this series HERE.