I ended yesterday's blog post by writing, "Intimacy with God unearths who we are created to be and frees us from the burden to perform." That statement has helped me define femininity as, "Living my life as who God has called me to be and nothing less." I've struggled at times to live life from this posture. There were times where I've felt pressured to stay in the shadows of the men in my life. Partially because growing up, the schema that represented the relationship between femininity and black women was limiting and constraining. I thought that I could only live as one of two things: docile or combative. Both of these extremes were perpetuating a narrative that too much of anything was not a good thing.
As I "came into my womanhood," in my weaknesses, and moments of despair, I recall God reclaiming my identity and reminding me of the creation story. How everything God created was good. On the first day, he created the heavens and the earth, followed by light, darkness, land, water, animals, and then man. He did all of that, rested, and yet despite all the goodness, something was not right. Something was incomplete, missing still. As a result, He placed Adam into a deep sleep and from man came woman. And as that story would unfold in my head, I remember hearing God speak to my heart,
"Eunice, creation was and is incomplete without you. Everything I created was magnificent and yet even in all its beauty; it was not complete in my eyes until I created you".
It's such a powerful thing to realize that you serve a God who didn't need us, yet He chose us. A God who saw creation as good once Eve entered the world. The world wasn't meant to be enjoyed or watched over by one gender. It was about humanity living in partnership and relationship with God and one another. So in the years that have followed, I've had to remind myself in moments of doubt, that if He saw me as that important, as the completion of everything He created, I couldn't choose to live my life like I am nothing. True femininity says that I live as all that I am, through all that He is.